1. Be grateful- Stop what you are doing and think of
all the things you are grateful for. Being grateful is simply to be
appreciative of what you have. Too often we spend our time wanting things in
the future, a better job, a newer car, a life partner etc. wanting things does
not make us happy. In fact desire and wanting usually lead to a flood of
negative emotions. Being present brings us back to happiness and focusing on
what we have right now. Start by writing a list of all the things that you
have. Here are some categories to consider: career, personal growth, finance,
house/home, health, well being, close family, wider family, leisure, community,
partner and spirituality. You may notice that as you right you begin to smile
and feel happy about all that you already have.
2. Smile- smiling is an incredibly powerful tool in
increasing your sense of happiness. Even better smiling is a two-way street, if
you smile at someone they are likely to smile back and the mood in the
room/bus/mall goes up just a fraction. Ron Gutman does it best in his TED Talk
on smiling which you watch here.
3. Reflect- Spend five minutes everyday reflecting on
what went well. You found a parking spot, the meeting ended on time, your
spouse had dinner ready, and bedtime went smoothly. Instead of discussing all
the disappointments of the day re-frame to look for the good- and when you do
you’ll find there was lots of little things that made you smile.
4. Eliminate perfection- It is really hard to be
happy with anything or anyone when you are striving for perfection. Perfection
does not exist except in your mind. There is no perfect piece of art, no
perfectly executed plan, no “perfect” game (although baseball likes to think
so). So long as our mindset is at 100% or for some people 110% we will never be
happy with ourselves, we can always do/be better. Ease up a little, try to see
yourself as dogs do- perfect already, no need to do/be anything more.
5. Take a risk- just a little one. The more you take
small chances and succeed the more confident and happier you will become.
"Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were
to live forever.” Gandhi
Everyday is a process of learning, just ask a parent of an infant- both of them are constantly learning! Yet we often ignore the life lessons
in our quest for making a living. What we have learned along the way would help
us tremendously but too often we compartmentalize our lives, telling ourselves
that real learning happens in the classroom or that we can't learn from an experience. Nothing could be farther from the
truth. Most of us just don't have a system or a structure to apply the lessons
to.
A new organizational trend is to have a "Lessons
Learned" section or cell within a company to track what went well and
should be repeated; and what went poorly and should be avoided. Some people
already have a system like this, usually called parents, siblings or in-laws who
remind you of how things went horribly wrong or encourage you to remember your
successes. However trusting external people to count your successes and
failings is not particularly reliable.
You should be keeping track of the lessons you have learned in
your life. Some may be humorous "If it smells bad it probably is not good
to eat." but others may be lessons that come out of pain, rejection or
misunderstandings. In many cases it is the lessons that come from loss that we
learn too well and usually incorporate that change our behaviour.
One of the best ways to learn the lesson is to keep a learning
journal where you make notes about items that you have learned or wish to
learn. Write it rather than keeping it in an electronic form. There is something
very soothing about seeing your own wise counsel in your own hand. I have a hot pink leather journal that only contains
things that I have learned. It is one of my favourite books to flip through as
I see the learning journeys but also quotes from books and speeches that I found inspirational.
The next time you have a job interview you don't get, read a
fabulous article, connect with a character in a novel or have a run in with a
co-worker write down what you learned from the experience. Life is all about learning;
sadly many of us miss the lessons.
No one lacks life lessons; wisdom comes from having the courage
to learn from them.
There are a number of things I am deeply afraid of- heights,
chair lifts, spiders and jumping into a pool. Even though I am afraid, I do fly
and occasionally get on a chair lift or gondola but jumping into a pool is
something I almost never do. This is ironic since our home has an inground
pool!
I know for sure it is a mind over matter issue, which is why I love
watching my kids and the neighbourhood kids go barrelling into the pool. They
approach life without hang-ups with a learning mindset- all opportunities are
to be seized, not analyzed.
Sometimes a thinking approach is called for. There are times
when careful analysis, consideration and even caution are necessary. However,
just as often there are opportunities where we should just take the plunge. Depending
on your personality you will have a preference for one style of decision making
over the other.
This year commit to trying to use both styles. It may be
uncomfortable at first but as my kids always assure me the water is warm!
